Finding Your Voice: Empowering Steps to Overcome People-Pleasing

Do you often find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Do you go to great lengths to please others, even at the expense of your own needs and desires? If so, you may be caught in the trap of people-pleasing. I too, am on the people-pleasing spectrum! The good news is that you have the power to break free from this pattern and reclaim your voice by setting boundaries and surrounding yourself with a supportive community.  

In this blog post, we will explore empowering steps to help you overcome people-pleasing and find the strength to express your true self.

I recently recorded a podcast with guest speaker, Libby Triolo, who is a mindset coach who specializes in helping women break free of people-pleasing behaviors in relationships. To listen to that episode click here, https://www.buzzsprout.com/2143456/13218680

People-pleasing is a cycle that tends to occur. It starts with a trigger, which leads to us having assumptions, add in some anxiety, and finally coping strategies, and then it starts all over again. It also cycles between anxiety and coping strategies. The people-pleasing cycle is not healthy to stay in.

The first step in overcoming people pleasing is to recognize the pattern in your behavior. I will be the first person to put my needs aside to help someone in need. I tend to spend a lot of time helping others when I could use some help myself. Do you put others’ needs before your own? Think back on some of your past experiences and see if you find yourself saying yes to others when you really want to and should say no.

For some, the tendency to people please has been ingrained since childhood, while others developed these tendencies in their young adulthood. It could be that you felt the need to be perfect to gain your parent’s approval, or perhaps your college partner demanded you to prioritize their needs or face emotional turmoil. Maybe, like me, you find joy in seeing others thrive, leading you to consistently prioritize them over yourself.  Regardless of the origin of your people-pleasing tendencies, it’s time to establish boundaries and confidently say “no” when it aligns with your best interests.

Recognizing the roots of your people-pleasing behavior is an important step towards reclaiming your autonomy and well-being. Acknowledge the influences and experiences that shaped this pattern, and understand that you have the power to reshape it. Setting boundaries is key to creating a healthier dynamic in your relationships and honoring your own needs and desires.

Learning to say “no” when necessary is an empowering act of self-care and self-respect. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it becomes easier to assert your boundaries and make choices that align with your authentic self. Remember, you are not responsible for other people’s emotions or well-being at the expense of your own.

By setting boundaries and saying “no” when appropriate, you regain control over your life and create space for your own growth and happiness. It’s time to prioritize your needs, desires, and dreams. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and empower yourself to live a life that is authentic and fulfilling.

Trust yourself and have confidence in your ability to set healthy boundaries. Embrace the freedom that comes with honoring your own well-being while maintaining respect and compassion for others. It’s time to let go of people-pleasing and embrace a life where you prioritize yourself and find the happiness you deserve.

Some of us have different motivations behind our people-pleasing tendencies. Maybe you are seeking approval or validation from others. Perhaps you have a fear of being rejected. Understanding the underlying emotions and beliefs is important because they will provide insight into the root cause of your people-pleasing tendencies.

Take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you. Envision the life you want to create for yourself. Make a list of your values and priorities, and use it as a compass to guide your decisions. Strive to align your choices with your goals and aspirations, moving you closer to the life you envision.

Remember, it is essential to prioritize your own needs and well-being alongside the needs of others. While supporting others is valuable, it’s equally important to support yourself first and foremost. By taking care of your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being, you have the strength and energy to genuinely contribute and support others in a sustainable way.

When you prioritize your own needs, you establish a solid foundation from which you can extend genuine support and make a positive impact. It’s about finding the right balance between self-care and the care you offer to others. Nurturing yourself ensures that you have the resources and capacity to show up fully for others and lead a more fulfilled and meaningful life.

So, let your values and priorities guide your decisions. Make choices that align with your authentic self and bring you closer to your goals and visions. Embrace the power of self-care and self-support as you navigate your journey. Remember, you have the ability to create a life that harmonizes your own well-being with your desire to make a difference in the lives of others.

Prioritizing self-care is important and so is developing strong communication skills to express your thoughts, feelings, and desires openly and honestly with others. Use “I” statements to assertively communicate your needs, while still being kind and respectful of others. Effective communication empowers you to assert your boundaries and express your true authentic self.

Building a strong community with others to move into this new chapter of your life is important. You want others to know what your goals are in life and allow them to support you and guide you along the way.

Another great way to ditch your people-pleasing tendencies and put yourself first is by embracing self-discovery. Figure out what your passions, strengths, and dreams are in life. Explore your interests, engage in hobbies, and pursue personal growth. Build a solid foundation for this new chapter of your life.

Overcoming people pleasing is a transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment. By recognizing the patterns, understanding your motivations, and prioritizing your values and well-being, you can break free from the constraints of people pleasing and find your voice. Practice self-compassion, learn to say “no” when necessary, and surround yourself with a supportive community. Embrace the journey of self-discovery, and step into a life where your voice is heard and your authentic self shines.

Remember, you can reclaim your voice and live life on your terms. Embrace this empowering journey and discover the freedom that comes with expressing your true self.

XOXO

Jess Wayne

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