I want you to think about a time when you’ve had the best date possible with your husband or significant other. Maybe he took you for an evening stroll on the beach where you listened to the waves crashing ashore. Or he lit a roomful of candles, had bubbly champagne, and gave you a head-to-toe full-body massage on a rose-petal-covered bed. Or maybe he took you out dancing at a club where you felt like you were in your young 20s again.
Now, I want you to go on a money date with him, and it probably won’t be anything like those other perfect dates. Haha. I want you to plan this date. You get to pick the location and make sure there is food available, no one likes a hangry person on their money date. Maybe you’ll have a drink or two. And the two of you get to talk about…money. Doesn’t that sound romantic? Maybe it won’t be as much fun as dancing at a club or walking along the beach, well you could have your money date while on the beach! You can get creative with this, it’s your date!
On your money date, you get to talk about your financial situation, your goals, both short-term and long-term, where you are financially right now, the challenges, and the WINS! The two of you can create a plan and budget together on this date. Or you can review your budget if you already have one. You get to reflect on the last year or since your last money date, what has been going well and what can you each and together improve upon.
Money dates are important to make sure that you both are on the same page when it comes to money. It allows you to share your concerns, challenges and wins. It keeps money neutral and talking about it will keep it from being secretive and you won’t be able to ignore it. Couples who have routine money dates or just talk about money that is positive, open, and honest are much more responsible with their finances. Usually, there isn’t any big scary ugly money secret hiding in the closet. Which I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want any scary money monsters hiding in my house or closet!
My husband and I started having money dates when we were paying off our mountain of debt. We paid off $100,000 of debt in less than 2 years, during the pandemic, and while my husband was recovering from having emergency back surgery. Oh, yes, and all 3 of our boys were home doing, “Virtual Schooling.” Our money dates kept us sane!
So, make this fun. Don’t try and make this a blaming date, where you are upset and blaming your partner for overspending, not meeting your goals, or not seeming interested. But, have open and honest communication with them. If things get a little heated take a break. One way you can make sure your partner doesn’t get super defensive about this date right off the bat is to let them know that a money date is your plan. You can keep them updated on the fact that the two of you are going to go on a date and talk about your finances. You can keep the location a secret so it’s a nice surprise, heck, you can even have this money date at home if you’d prefer. But try to make it special and meaningful for both of you.
If you have a budget or a budgeting tool make sure to bring that along. I recommend you create the budget or revise the budget during this date. If you have any larger purchases you anticipate in the next few weeks to a couple of months make sure the two of you are in agreement with how you are going to tackle that expense. If you get stuck or you aren’t sure what exactly to discuss start by sharing your heart and what you want your future to look like. If you are confused or not understanding your partner, ask clarifying questions. You can even have fun with it by asking questions that might not be realistic, like if we had $20,000 just land in our lap what would you do with it? Or if we won the lottery what would we do?
I ask my husband this question at times, even though I don’t buy lottery tickets! Haha. He does occasionally so I guess we could win the lottery, but I am not banking on it!
Once your money date is nearing the end, set up another time for another money date, put it on your schedule and their schedule, and make a promise to each other that you will routinely have a money date. Maybe you both decide this is best done once a week or once every month. But make the commitment to keep having these special dates to connect with each other, talk about where you are currently at with your money, and allow yourselves to dream together. Dream about your future together and what you hope to achieve and how the decisions you make now will determine the future.
XOXO
Jess Wayne
