Is it because we are always running from one thing to another? We are always busy, frazzled, and on our last tiny bit of thread– hanging on for dear life.
Many of us are finding ourselves easily annoyed or bothered by others. Is this new? Has it always been this way for generations and generations? Why are we so quick to become defensive and hurt by others’ comments? Was my Grandma this way and her Mom?
Sometimes I think I feel this way because I get overwhelmed and overstimulated with the busyness of life. Doing school drop off, heading to work, school pick up, and running home for a quick bite to eat before sports practices which are back in town 20 minutes away. Oh, and arguing with my kids on what they want to eat for dinner before I drive them to said practices. Where I then sit, and work, and if I am feeling extroverted that evening I will attempt to make small talk with the other parents.
I LOVE talking and connecting with others don’t get me wrong. But by the time I get to the end of my day, I feel drained. Some days I have energy that lasts all day and evening, but as we are heading into the cold and gray winter season in Wisconsin, I feel tired.
Maybe this is how you are feeling? Maybe if you live in the sunny state of Florida you are energized all day long. Floridans–is this true?
Do you get easily upset, frustrated, and annoyed with people making simple mistakes on the road in front of you? Do you get offended by something your mother, sister, or friend says? Or maybe it’s your pesky co-worker or the little old woman at the grocery store who won’t get out of your way, doesn’t she know that you are trying to grab nourishment for your family in the 20 minutes in between chauffeuring the kids around?
Don’t get me started on trying to find healthy food options for my boys. I swear, for every “special” drink they want to consume I have to do a Google search to see if I am allowing them to poison their little bodies. Can’t the food and drink companies just make it easy on us moms and only offer healthy options? WTH.
So many of us are running on limited sleep and we are over-caffeinated just trying to survive. We are doing our best to be the best Mom, Sister, Friend, Daughter, Aunt, and Wife. We feel like we can’t do enough and that we aren’t enough. Our kids are annoyed with us! Our husbands want more sex and our moms make us feel guilty because we are “so busy”, like this is all our decision to stay busy and run ourselves ragged. It’s society, my kid’s coaches who think their sport is the best and most important, and the teachers who are sending home 30 math problems and a project that I have to help my kid build, which turns into ME building their bridge made out of toothpicks.
It isn’t ME keeping me busy, it is everyone else. Or is it?
Who is signing these kids up for sports, dance, theatre, and science olympiad? Who is deciding to work a second job to “get the discount on the Zyia leggings?” Who is spending more on things than their full-time job can pay for, so they NEED to get a second job pick up more hours, or start a side hustle to help cover the bills.
Yes, inflation is real. Yes, everything is expensive. Yes, none of us get paid enough. Yes, Women are expected to do FAR TOO MUCH! But how much of this are we inviting into our lives that don’t necessarily need to be coming to the life party?
I will be the first to admit I overschedule our lives. I feel I shouldn’t have signed my boys up for hockey, because now they love it and I don’t want to take that away from them. I also am working 3 jobs, as an RN, Photographer, and Life and Money Coach. Who decided that? I DID!
“But I like to keep busy!” Is that what you say too? I sure do! And it is true, and I do have A LOT of free time every night at the hockey rink Monday-Thursday and sometimes Friday during October-February during hockey practices. I can bring my work with and it keeps me doing something.
So much of this busyness, overwhelm, and annoyances we bring on ourselves, even if we don’t realize it. So, how do we slow down? How do we not become so easily annoyed with others and ourselves?
We start by trying to improve ourselves from the inside out. We change our way of thinking. Instead of saying, “I have to take my boys to hockey 5-7 days a week” I say, “I get to take them to a sport and activity they love and it is keeping their bodies physically healthy.”
We start by scheduling in the things we value and want to do. We start by cutting back on the things we don’t want to do or things that no longer serve us. We come up with goals, a plan, and a budget to keep from overspending and needing to work extra hours or pick up a second job. We optimize the time we have to do things we want to do and to also just rest and relax. We make time for self-care, relationships, and reflection.
When you work on yourself, when you fill your mind with positive words and thoughts, you change how you feel. Internal change equals external change.
You won’t always have supercharged energy every day. You won’t always be exhausted every day. But when you start working on improving yourself, even 1% each day, you will notice that you get less annoyed, less overwhelmed, and less overstimulated. You will notice that you are encouraging and empowering others to improve themselves and create the life they want to live. Just like I am doing.
Now, I still get annoyed too easily, I still complain about others hurting my feelings, or making me feel guilty. But really they can’t make me feel guilty, I have control over how I react. I know I am a busy person and we are in a busy season of our lives right now. Maybe in a few years, we will be less busy, but our boys are in the prime of their childhoods and I am here for all that that brings into my life. I can be less busy when they are grown and out of the house. Because right now, it is time to focus on family, business, relationships, myself, and God.
How are you going to make the change from being easily annoyed by others to being slightly annoyed by others? LOL.
XOXO
Jess Wayne
